Wednesday, September 2, 2009

OCD and Today Is All There Is

I was sitting here and caught my mind drifting off to a September years ago when I had to go for medical tests (which eventually turned out fine, but caused me several weeks of terror, and ruined my month.) I think my mind automatically went to this scenario because it is once again September, and the cool weather triggered off this memory. I just realized that I am depressed for absolutely no good reason. A memory has done this to me.

Lately, I have been trying to catch myself from becoming immersed in negative emotions from the past, or worrying about the unknown of the future. If I think about all the time I’ve wasted due to lingering in bad memories, it may add up to years. I’ve also spend endless hours ritualizing, ruminating, worrying about the past and the future. How much of the present has been lost? Can it ever be recovered?

I must realize that the past is done and can’t be undone. I must realize the gift of the Present, the NOW. That is all there really is anyway. What’s good about that is that there is always a fresh NOW to become involved in. Right NOW is the best time in life to change the future. What we do NOW sets up the future. We can have hope, we do have choices. This applies to OCD as well as everything else.

I want to be aware of right now, and realize that it has absolutely no bearing on what was. The bad things are gone, so why relive them? I want to focus on the moment I am in. I’m trying to notice everything around me such as the sounds, the smells, and looking for happiness and beauty in whatever I am looking at. I am going to realize the abundance, not the lack.

If you are mindful, which means that you need to be vigilant of what you are thinking, and grateful for what is right now- what you do have, you won’t be so focused on what was wrong. Also, focusing on NOW takes away the worry about what may be. No more September blahs for me! I hope everyone has a fantastic September as well.

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