One of the greatest gifts we can give someone is our undivided attention. For people with OCD or ADD, or just people who are very busy, that may be difficult to do, as distractions almost inevitably occur when listening or following conversations.
In this very busy technological world, we are often overwhelmed with multi-tasking. I am often a victim of this. I will be reading something, or will be on the Internet, watching TV, cleaning, etc., and the phone rings and I try to keep up with 2 or more things at once, while having a conversation. The result of this is that all things usually suffer to some degree. Also, the person on the other end can usually pick up on my distraction. I have realized that this is very unfair. If I can’t give my undivided attention to someone, then I should tell them that I am busy at the moment and will contact them when I can concentrate.
Distractions, whether in the background or in the mind, sometimes makes listening difficult. The thing to do is to ignore all the surrounding chatter and try not to multi-task when listening on the phone, or even on the Internet. It is the same thing with thoughts that occur while talking face to face with someone. Sometimes we are so focused on our response that we don’t hear what the person is talking about. Make an effort to really absorb and listen to what the person is saying is saying. Focus on the words, live in the moment. Take yourself off auto-pilot.
I believe that giving the gift of undivided attention can reach people on a spiritual level, and that subconsciously, people know this. I hope that we all can put this into practice more often so that we can really connect as human beings.
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Anxiety disorders are astonishingly common. They include Panic, Phobias (including Agoraphobia and Social Phobia), Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and Generalised Anxiety Disorder. For many people self-help is a viable way forward and this is why we wrote our book Free Yourself from Anxiety. We aim to show you, step-by-step, how to set up and follow an individually tailored self-help programme.
Part one looks at lifestyle, because very often the way you live is contributing to Anxiety. By making simple changes you can get yourself fit and ready to tackle your Anxiety driven behaviours.
Part two shows you how to challenge your Anxiety in a safe controlled way, by setting small goals that take you gradually towards letting go of anxious behaviours.
Part three shows you how to recognise your anxious thinking, challenge it, and ultimately change it.
Part four explains how to delve into some of the deeper issues that may be driving Anxiety. We also suggest where it might be appropriate for you to seek professional help.
Our aim in this book is to be as comprehensive as possible. Each reader will be able to decide which aspects of the recovery programme they need to complete and which are not relevant to them. In addition we have only discussed proven safe techniques.
Throughout the book we have used the words of Anxiety sufferers who are in various stages of recovery to illustrate our points
The authors
Emma Fletcher is a UK-registered counsellor with 20 years experience of helping anxiety sufferers and of training counsellors and volunteers on anxiety help-lines. She remains firmly committed to the self-help principle and believes that much of her work consists of giving her clients the tools to enable them to live more effectively. This book is an attempt to bring those tools to a wider audience.
Martha Langley is a professional writer and journalist. She has more than 10 years experience as a volunteer on helplines for people dealing with Anxiety and has also been a one-to-one mentor and recovery group leader. This has given her an insight into the difficulties faced by people trying to put self-help techniques into practice. Her aim in Free Yourself from Anxiety was to explain these techniques, to explain the reasoning behind them, and to make practical suggestions that will give every reader the best chance of recovery.
Free Yourself From Anxiety ISBN 978-1- 84528-311-7 is available from bookshops, book websites and Amazon.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Free-Yourself-Anxiety-Self-help-Overcoming/dp/1845283112/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1233135806&sr=1-1
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