Last night I went to a Pat Benatar concert. After all these years, she is still smokin’ hot and can belt out a song just like she used to do. I think she is such a great, talented lady. She also had a message. She was telling a story about how she witnessed child abuse, and that it had such an effect on her that her song “Hell Is For Children,” was the result of her emotional experience.
There are many children suffering from physical, emotional, and spiritual abuse, and it is not always from their parents. Listening to her emotional rendition of that song brought me back to my grammar school days. I not only was a victim of abuse from some of my teachers, but I also witnessed kids getting hit with pointers, having their heads slammed into blackboards, and many other things, which I write about in my book. In religion class, some of the nuns threatened us with burning in hell if we didn’t obey. This triggered off many of my fears and OCD problems as a child.
Abuse comes in many forms, and parents as by no means always to blame. Children can be victims of teachers, care takers, siblings, as well as other children. Little children may be too young to be able to verbalize these atrocities. I hope that everyone can realize the signs of abuse, some of which can be; increased nervousness, sudden fears, ritualizing, drop in grades, loss of interest in activities, depression, and withdrawal from others. If we can raise awareness, we can save much suffering in this world..
Hell definitely is NOT for children. They all belong to heaven.
Friday, August 14, 2009
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
OCD and Remember To Remember
Sometimes people can get stuck in a bad pattern of thinking. Something triggers a memory; a picture, a song, a scent, just about anything, and you can be transported back through time, reliving a bad thought over and over again. Becoming immersed in bad thoughts produces bad feelings, which ruin the present. Wrong thinking can also project you into an imagined bad future.
It’s important to be aware of these negative thought patterns. It is only your past conditioning that has made you become stuck in this bad thinking pattern. Your past bad thoughts are no longer real, but your mind does not know this, and it will again become your reality. Recognizing this, and bringing your thoughts to the present moment changes your emotions. By right thinking, you can consciously carry better thoughts with you throughout the day, which will make life much more enjoyable.
In the book, The Secret, Rhonda Byrne says “Remember to remember.” If thoughts begin drifting to a bad place, catch them before they ruin your moment or your day.“Remember To Remember,” and consciously bring better scenarios into your now. Get off Auto Pilot and control your own destiny.
Also, if children were taught how to do this at an early age, they could be spared much anxiety and stress. Being conscious of negative thoughts will enable them to live much better lives.
It’s important to be aware of these negative thought patterns. It is only your past conditioning that has made you become stuck in this bad thinking pattern. Your past bad thoughts are no longer real, but your mind does not know this, and it will again become your reality. Recognizing this, and bringing your thoughts to the present moment changes your emotions. By right thinking, you can consciously carry better thoughts with you throughout the day, which will make life much more enjoyable.
In the book, The Secret, Rhonda Byrne says “Remember to remember.” If thoughts begin drifting to a bad place, catch them before they ruin your moment or your day.“Remember To Remember,” and consciously bring better scenarios into your now. Get off Auto Pilot and control your own destiny.
Also, if children were taught how to do this at an early age, they could be spared much anxiety and stress. Being conscious of negative thoughts will enable them to live much better lives.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
OCD & Did the Contaminated Lady Kill My Cat?
People with OCD are victims of automatic thoughts which have been ingrained on the mind. Years ago I fell in love with a fluffy little kitten, who I named Lambchop. I took her home immediately. She made me incredibly happy, and if you have a pet that you love deeply, you will know how I felt.
One day, a neighbor of mine was passing by, and she walked up to my stoop and we started talking and the topic tuned to animals. I told her about my new kitten and she asked to see her. I really didn't want to show Lambchop to her, but she insisted. I felt uneasy as she was petting her, but didn't say anything.
Several days later, Lambchop became very ill and eventually passed away. It was very horrible for me, and I blamed my neighbor, and she has been "contaminated" ever since. For years, if I saw her, I would become terrified that something would happen to one of my pets. I would do a ritual to protect them.
This is the nature of OCD - We have experienced anxiety in the past, and are anticipating it again. In order to avoid the disturbing emotion of anxiety, we have inadvertently created a false belief system which tells us that our rituals will protect us.
I hope that people with OCD will be able to recognize this pattern in their minds and interrupt the OCD thought and challenge it.
I'd like to know your thoughts about this - sometimes I still wonder.
One day, a neighbor of mine was passing by, and she walked up to my stoop and we started talking and the topic tuned to animals. I told her about my new kitten and she asked to see her. I really didn't want to show Lambchop to her, but she insisted. I felt uneasy as she was petting her, but didn't say anything.
Several days later, Lambchop became very ill and eventually passed away. It was very horrible for me, and I blamed my neighbor, and she has been "contaminated" ever since. For years, if I saw her, I would become terrified that something would happen to one of my pets. I would do a ritual to protect them.
This is the nature of OCD - We have experienced anxiety in the past, and are anticipating it again. In order to avoid the disturbing emotion of anxiety, we have inadvertently created a false belief system which tells us that our rituals will protect us.
I hope that people with OCD will be able to recognize this pattern in their minds and interrupt the OCD thought and challenge it.
I'd like to know your thoughts about this - sometimes I still wonder.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
OCD IS LIKE THE SCHOOL BULLY
Many people don’t realize the enormous amount of mental and physical energy OCD uses and how it can deplete bodily resources. OCD is like the school bully who torments the same person day after day because he gets the reaction he wants, which is fear. Your fear makes him feel more powerful. In the past, I have often been a victim of this OCD bully. Mentally fighting him left me both mentally dejected and physically exhausted. This tormenter can interfere with eating, sleeping, working, as well as interacting with others.
One simple way to conserve energy when one is experiencing severe OCD is to just stop fighting it. Give up. Ignore your OCD bully. The more we fight him, the more powerful he will become, because anything we give our energy, attention, and focus, will only get stronger.
Accept that you feel this way at this moment and logically say to yourself that you are in the midst of OCD and that biochemical imbalance is causing this. Tell yourself that you will get through this and eventually you will feel better. Realize that you have more power than you think in this situation, and you don’t have to be a victim of this bully. It is only your past conditioning that has set up this attack. Do your best to ignore your obsession (which I know from personal experience is very hard to do, but with practice, really works.) Then try to refocus your physical and mental energy elsewhere. If possible, think of something pleasant. A past pleasant experience is just as good as a present one because your mind doesn’t know the difference. Take a walk, clean a room, make a phone call, take a bath, listen to music, eat something delicious, see a movie. Make a conscious effort to do anything that will make you feel better. What is important is the emotion that is projected. If you can manage to feel anything pleasant, it will immediately give you some relief. If you can be aware of this and practice doing it, it will make a huge difference in your life.
Refocusing your attention elsewhere and giving your OCD the least amount of effort is just like standing up to the bully and taking away his power. Ignore him and he usually shrinks away. I hope understanding this will bring you some relief.
One simple way to conserve energy when one is experiencing severe OCD is to just stop fighting it. Give up. Ignore your OCD bully. The more we fight him, the more powerful he will become, because anything we give our energy, attention, and focus, will only get stronger.
Accept that you feel this way at this moment and logically say to yourself that you are in the midst of OCD and that biochemical imbalance is causing this. Tell yourself that you will get through this and eventually you will feel better. Realize that you have more power than you think in this situation, and you don’t have to be a victim of this bully. It is only your past conditioning that has set up this attack. Do your best to ignore your obsession (which I know from personal experience is very hard to do, but with practice, really works.) Then try to refocus your physical and mental energy elsewhere. If possible, think of something pleasant. A past pleasant experience is just as good as a present one because your mind doesn’t know the difference. Take a walk, clean a room, make a phone call, take a bath, listen to music, eat something delicious, see a movie. Make a conscious effort to do anything that will make you feel better. What is important is the emotion that is projected. If you can manage to feel anything pleasant, it will immediately give you some relief. If you can be aware of this and practice doing it, it will make a huge difference in your life.
Refocusing your attention elsewhere and giving your OCD the least amount of effort is just like standing up to the bully and taking away his power. Ignore him and he usually shrinks away. I hope understanding this will bring you some relief.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
OCD & The Man In the Mirror
This may make some people happy, and it may make some very angry, but I will say it anyway – I am a Michael Jackson fan, and I am very upset by his loss. Over the past few days, many people have shared my sentiments, but I have also been met with extreme hostility at the fact that I could feel this way about him. This is my story.
I am approximately the same age as Michael Jackson, and I literally grew up with his music. I was never a fanatical fan of the Jackson 5 like I was with the Beatles, but the little boy, Michael, had something unworldly about him, and I never tired of watching him perform.
Fast forward several decades. Within a 6 week period, my father and grandmother had just died, as well as the mother of my 2 friends who are like sisters to me. My own mother had a bleeding ulcer and was on the verge of hospitalization, and I was caring for her in my house. I also had a teenager who was going through a difficult period – he just lost the love of his life, his grandfather, and he needed me. My OCD had escalated out of control and it was all that I could do to function, and I wasn’t doing a good job of that. The grip of depression that took hold of me was so intense that breathing was difficult at times. I couldn’t eat, sleep, or concentrate on anything. I didn’t care if I was alive or not.
I remember it clearly, the night that I was sitting in a chair in the dark, in the quiet, crying and crying and hoping that the pain would stop. I remember the way my thoughts were just going around and around in my mind – they were unstoppable and driving me insane. I got up and put the radio on. I sat back down in the chair. It started playing “The Man In the Mirror.” The music, the emotional way he sang it -I felt it go right through my body and penetrate every fiber of my being. The words took hold of me and went right to my spirit:
Gonna make a change, For once in my life. Its gonna feel real good, Gonna make a difference
Gonna make it right . . . As I turn up the collar of my Favorite winter coat, This wind is blowin’ my mind...
I'm starting with the man in the mirror, Im asking him to change his ways. And no message could have Been any clearer, If you wanna make the world A better place Take a look at yourself, and Then make a change...
Man, that man With that man in the mirror. No message could have Been any clearer. If you wanna make the world A better place Take a look at yourself and Then make a change. Gonna feel real good now!Yeah yeah! yeah yeah!
Just lift yourself, You knowYouve got to stop it. Yourself!(yeah!-make that change!) Ive got to make that change, Today!Hoo!(man in the mirror)You got to, You got to not let yourself . . Youve got to move! Come On! come on!You got to . . .Stand up! Stand up! Stand up!(yeah-make that change) Stand up and lift Yourself, now!(man in the mirror)Hoo! hoo! hoo! Aaow. . .(change . . .)Make that change.
I was so filled with emotion when that song ended that I knew that this was a message that was sent to me through that song from somewhere else, I’m sure of it. I did get up, right then and there. That song was what got me moving again, made me get a grip of my life and take the steps to conquer my depression. Every time i hear it, I get the chills.
I am forever grateful to Michael Jackson for the gift of music that he gave to me. That is why I am going to the Apollo Theater for his memorial today – to thank him.
I am approximately the same age as Michael Jackson, and I literally grew up with his music. I was never a fanatical fan of the Jackson 5 like I was with the Beatles, but the little boy, Michael, had something unworldly about him, and I never tired of watching him perform.
Fast forward several decades. Within a 6 week period, my father and grandmother had just died, as well as the mother of my 2 friends who are like sisters to me. My own mother had a bleeding ulcer and was on the verge of hospitalization, and I was caring for her in my house. I also had a teenager who was going through a difficult period – he just lost the love of his life, his grandfather, and he needed me. My OCD had escalated out of control and it was all that I could do to function, and I wasn’t doing a good job of that. The grip of depression that took hold of me was so intense that breathing was difficult at times. I couldn’t eat, sleep, or concentrate on anything. I didn’t care if I was alive or not.
I remember it clearly, the night that I was sitting in a chair in the dark, in the quiet, crying and crying and hoping that the pain would stop. I remember the way my thoughts were just going around and around in my mind – they were unstoppable and driving me insane. I got up and put the radio on. I sat back down in the chair. It started playing “The Man In the Mirror.” The music, the emotional way he sang it -I felt it go right through my body and penetrate every fiber of my being. The words took hold of me and went right to my spirit:
Gonna make a change, For once in my life. Its gonna feel real good, Gonna make a difference
Gonna make it right . . . As I turn up the collar of my Favorite winter coat, This wind is blowin’ my mind...
I'm starting with the man in the mirror, Im asking him to change his ways. And no message could have Been any clearer, If you wanna make the world A better place Take a look at yourself, and Then make a change...
Man, that man With that man in the mirror. No message could have Been any clearer. If you wanna make the world A better place Take a look at yourself and Then make a change. Gonna feel real good now!Yeah yeah! yeah yeah!
Just lift yourself, You knowYouve got to stop it. Yourself!(yeah!-make that change!) Ive got to make that change, Today!Hoo!(man in the mirror)You got to, You got to not let yourself . . Youve got to move! Come On! come on!You got to . . .Stand up! Stand up! Stand up!(yeah-make that change) Stand up and lift Yourself, now!(man in the mirror)Hoo! hoo! hoo! Aaow. . .(change . . .)Make that change.
I was so filled with emotion when that song ended that I knew that this was a message that was sent to me through that song from somewhere else, I’m sure of it. I did get up, right then and there. That song was what got me moving again, made me get a grip of my life and take the steps to conquer my depression. Every time i hear it, I get the chills.
I am forever grateful to Michael Jackson for the gift of music that he gave to me. That is why I am going to the Apollo Theater for his memorial today – to thank him.
Monday, June 22, 2009
OCD & Intrusive Thoughts Have No Power
Many people with OCD or other anxiety disorders are victims of Intrusive Thoughts, which are scary thoughts that seemingly pop into the mind randomly, causing intense feelings of fear, anger, or sadness. They always produce extreme discomfort.
The thoughts themselves are bad enough, but is the emotions that they produce that can be disconcerting and damaging. But we are being fooled by our minds- these thoughts have no power unless we allow them power. We become victims of these thoughts because we think that they are messages or omens. Too often, people take these thoughts at face value and believe them unconditionally. That is because we have trained ourselves to do this subconsciously
I believe that our brains, from childhood, create patterns which trigger certain thoughts regularly and automatically. An example of this is once when I was a child I got a new necklace. I put it on and 5 minutes later the phone rang and I heard bad news. From then on every time I attempted to wear the necklace I believed that something bad would happen. It was such a strong thought that I couldn’t wear that necklace anymore. In addition, every time I saw a necklace, I would become afraid, and expect bad news. Now I know my own mind created that pattern, but back then I didn’t realize this and the fear was very strong.
If you can logically look into your minds and see that the patterns of automatic thinking which have been ingrained in you since childhood are causing your Intrusive Thoughts, they will no longer have power over you.
The thoughts themselves are bad enough, but is the emotions that they produce that can be disconcerting and damaging. But we are being fooled by our minds- these thoughts have no power unless we allow them power. We become victims of these thoughts because we think that they are messages or omens. Too often, people take these thoughts at face value and believe them unconditionally. That is because we have trained ourselves to do this subconsciously
I believe that our brains, from childhood, create patterns which trigger certain thoughts regularly and automatically. An example of this is once when I was a child I got a new necklace. I put it on and 5 minutes later the phone rang and I heard bad news. From then on every time I attempted to wear the necklace I believed that something bad would happen. It was such a strong thought that I couldn’t wear that necklace anymore. In addition, every time I saw a necklace, I would become afraid, and expect bad news. Now I know my own mind created that pattern, but back then I didn’t realize this and the fear was very strong.
If you can logically look into your minds and see that the patterns of automatic thinking which have been ingrained in you since childhood are causing your Intrusive Thoughts, they will no longer have power over you.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
OCD & Success Consciousness
I subscribe to a newsletter, http://www.successconsciousness.com/ by Remez Sasson. In today’s issue there was a great article will power and self discipline, with tips and exercises to help build these great qualities. I think that if a person can strengthen their powers of will and self discipline, their OCD or any other mental malady will be helped. Here is some information from this issue:
“Everyone possesses some addictions or habits they wish they could overcome, such as smoking, excessive eating, laziness, procrastination or lack of assertiveness. To overcome these habits or addictions, one needs to have will power and self discipline. They make a great difference in everyone's life, and bring inner strength, self mastery and decisiveness.
There is a misconception in the public mind regarding will power. It is erroneously thought to be something strenuous and difficult, and that one has to exert and tense the body and mind when expressing it. It is a completely wrong concept. This is one of the reasons why people avoid using it, though they are conscious of its benefits. They acknowledge the fact that the employment of will power in their life and affairs will greatly help them, and that they need to strengthen it, yet they do nothing about it.
Will power gets stronger by holding back and not allowing the expression of unimportant, unnecessary and unhealthy thoughts, feelings, actions and reactions. If this saved energy is not allowed expression, it is stored inside you like a battery, and it becomes available at the time of need. By practicing appropriate exercises, you develop your powers the same way, as a person who trains his/her muscles in order to strengthen them.
An effective method for developing and improving these abilities is to perform certain actions or activities, which you would rather avoid doing due to laziness, procrastination, weakeness, shyness, etc. By doing something that you do not like doing or are too lazy to do, you overcome your subconscious resistance, train your mind to obey you, strengthen your inner powers and gain inner strength. Muscles get stronger by resisting the power of the barbells. Inner strength is attained by overcoming inner resistance.
Remember, strengthening one of these abilities, automatically strengthens the other one.
Here are a few exercises:
1) You are sitting in a bus or train and an old man or woman, or a pregnant lady walks in. Stand up and give up your seat even if you prefer to stay seated. Do this not just because it is polite, but because you are doing something that you are reluctant to do. In this way you are overcoming the resistance of your body, mind and feelings.
2) There are dishes in the sink that need washing, and you postpone washing them for later. Get up and wash them now. Do not let your laziness overcome you. When you know that in this way you are developing your will power, and if you are convinced of the importance of will power in your life, it will be easier for you to do whatever you have to do.
3) You come home tired from work and sit in front of the T.V. because you feel too lazy and tired to go and wash. Do not obey the desire to just sit, but go and have a shower
4) You may know your body needs some physical exercise, but instead you keep on sitting doing nothing or watching a movie. Get up and walk, run or do some other physical exercise.
5) Do you like your coffee with sugar? Then for a whole week decide to drink it without sugar. You like to drink three cups of coffee each day? For a week drink only two.
6) Sometimes, when you want to say something that is not important, decide not to say it.
7) Don't read some unimportant gossip in the newspaper, even if you want to.
8) You have a desire to eat something not too healthy. For the sake of the exercise refuse the desire.
9) If you find yourself thinking unimportant, unnecessary, negative thoughts, try to develop lack of interest in them, by thinking about their futility.
10) Overcome your laziness. Convince yourself of the importance of what is to be done. Convince your mind that you gain inner strength when you act and do things, in spite of laziness, reluctancy or senseless inner resistance.
Never say that you cannot follow the above exercises, because you certainly can. Be persistent no matter what. Motivate yourself by thinking about of the importance of performing the exercises, and the inner power and strength you will gain.”
I hope that this information will help. Also, this is a great E-zine, and I recommend it for everyone. Have a wonderful week!
“Everyone possesses some addictions or habits they wish they could overcome, such as smoking, excessive eating, laziness, procrastination or lack of assertiveness. To overcome these habits or addictions, one needs to have will power and self discipline. They make a great difference in everyone's life, and bring inner strength, self mastery and decisiveness.
There is a misconception in the public mind regarding will power. It is erroneously thought to be something strenuous and difficult, and that one has to exert and tense the body and mind when expressing it. It is a completely wrong concept. This is one of the reasons why people avoid using it, though they are conscious of its benefits. They acknowledge the fact that the employment of will power in their life and affairs will greatly help them, and that they need to strengthen it, yet they do nothing about it.
Will power gets stronger by holding back and not allowing the expression of unimportant, unnecessary and unhealthy thoughts, feelings, actions and reactions. If this saved energy is not allowed expression, it is stored inside you like a battery, and it becomes available at the time of need. By practicing appropriate exercises, you develop your powers the same way, as a person who trains his/her muscles in order to strengthen them.
An effective method for developing and improving these abilities is to perform certain actions or activities, which you would rather avoid doing due to laziness, procrastination, weakeness, shyness, etc. By doing something that you do not like doing or are too lazy to do, you overcome your subconscious resistance, train your mind to obey you, strengthen your inner powers and gain inner strength. Muscles get stronger by resisting the power of the barbells. Inner strength is attained by overcoming inner resistance.
Remember, strengthening one of these abilities, automatically strengthens the other one.
Here are a few exercises:
1) You are sitting in a bus or train and an old man or woman, or a pregnant lady walks in. Stand up and give up your seat even if you prefer to stay seated. Do this not just because it is polite, but because you are doing something that you are reluctant to do. In this way you are overcoming the resistance of your body, mind and feelings.
2) There are dishes in the sink that need washing, and you postpone washing them for later. Get up and wash them now. Do not let your laziness overcome you. When you know that in this way you are developing your will power, and if you are convinced of the importance of will power in your life, it will be easier for you to do whatever you have to do.
3) You come home tired from work and sit in front of the T.V. because you feel too lazy and tired to go and wash. Do not obey the desire to just sit, but go and have a shower
4) You may know your body needs some physical exercise, but instead you keep on sitting doing nothing or watching a movie. Get up and walk, run or do some other physical exercise.
5) Do you like your coffee with sugar? Then for a whole week decide to drink it without sugar. You like to drink three cups of coffee each day? For a week drink only two.
6) Sometimes, when you want to say something that is not important, decide not to say it.
7) Don't read some unimportant gossip in the newspaper, even if you want to.
8) You have a desire to eat something not too healthy. For the sake of the exercise refuse the desire.
9) If you find yourself thinking unimportant, unnecessary, negative thoughts, try to develop lack of interest in them, by thinking about their futility.
10) Overcome your laziness. Convince yourself of the importance of what is to be done. Convince your mind that you gain inner strength when you act and do things, in spite of laziness, reluctancy or senseless inner resistance.
Never say that you cannot follow the above exercises, because you certainly can. Be persistent no matter what. Motivate yourself by thinking about of the importance of performing the exercises, and the inner power and strength you will gain.”
I hope that this information will help. Also, this is a great E-zine, and I recommend it for everyone. Have a wonderful week!
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